








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2356 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2496 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2379 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2104 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,612,868 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 426 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | 56% | 144 |
| #2 | Ostran Rose | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | MHJ | 54% | 330 |
| #4 | OAK | 53% | 74 |
| #5 | 卂匚乇 | 51% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ostran Rose | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | MHJ | 54% | 330 |
| #4 | OAK | 53% | 74 |
| #5 | 卂匚乇 | 51% | 234 |
| #6 | ❟❛❟HA_29 | 48% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MHJ | 51 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | 27 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | 卂匚乇 | 21 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | ❟❛❟HA_29 | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Ostran Rose | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MHJ | 1121 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #2 | 卂匚乇 | 603 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #3 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | 162 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ostran Rose | 143 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | OAK | 67 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | +1.89 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | MHJ | +1.87 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | MAF | +0.55 | 57 | 60 |
| #4 | ❟❛❟HA_29 | +0.47 | 61 | 45 |
| #5 | 卂匚乇 | -0.93 | 57 | 57 |





