








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6603 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4999 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4743 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5907 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,796,519 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 989 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | 58% | 252 |
| #2 | Ostran Rose | 55% | 146 |
| #3 | MAF | 54% | 330 |
| #4 | 卂匚乇 | 53% | 361 |
| #5 | OAK | 51% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAF | 40 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | 38 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | 卂匚乇 | 37 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Ostran Rose | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | ❟❛❟HA_29 | 12 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 卂匚乇 | 862 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #2 | MAF | 531 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #3 | Ostran Rose | 423 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | 279 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #5 | OAK | 123 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MHJ | +1.94 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | ❟❛❟spencer👑 | +1.09 | 75 | 54 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟HA_29 | +0.99 | 65 | 50 |
| #4 | MAF | +0.57 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | 卂匚乇 | -0.37 | 59 | 56 |





