










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1483 | 42% |
| Smokes | 835 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 443 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 804 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,466 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laboe | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Dylan | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | CoenB | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | 44% | 138 |
| #5 | Sōsuke Aizen | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laboe | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Dylan | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | CoenB | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | 44% | 138 |
| #5 | Sōsuke Aizen | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | 19 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | CoenB | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Sōsuke Aizen | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Dylan | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | 478 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Sōsuke Aizen | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | CoenB | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Laboe | 13 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Dylan | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | +2.58 | 33 | 58 |
| #2 | CoenB | +2.30 | 61 | 45 |
| #3 | Laboe | +0.01 | 39 | 40 |
| #4 | Dylan | -1.94 | 18 | 29 |
| #5 | Jeffrey Epstein | -3.06 | 21 | 49 |





