








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2760 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2182 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1931 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2637 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $906,699 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylan | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | 44% | 423 |
| #3 | Jeffrey Epstein | 40% | 53 |
| #4 | CoenB | 39% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dylan | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | 44% | 423 |
| #3 | Jeffrey Epstein | 40% | 53 |
| #4 | CoenB | 39% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | 82 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Dylan | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Jeffrey Epstein | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | CoenB | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | 1586 | 0.19 | 32 min |
| #2 | Jeffrey Epstein | 205 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | CoenB | 143 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dylan | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xxx_W33B_SL4Y3R_xxX | +3.36 | 41 | 52 |
| #2 | CoenB | +3.35 | 64 | 57 |
| #3 | Dylan | -1.45 | 25 | 32 |
| #4 | Jeffrey Epstein | -2.69 | 19 | 48 |
| #5 | Sōsuke Aizen | -3.47 | 17 | 43 |





