








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2494 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5381 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4294 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2418 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2782 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,861 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunzi | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | THE THINKER | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | mime | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | byzun | 56% | 62 |
| #5 | Mwah | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | mime | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | byzun | 56% | 62 |
| #5 | Mwah | 53% | 34 |
| #6 | Tempest | 50% | 42 |
| #7 | Nolvia | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byzun | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | THE THINKER | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | mime | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byzun | 253 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Bunzi | 103 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | THE THINKER | 100 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tempest | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nolvia | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunzi | +2.92 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | Tempest | +1.27 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | Mwah | +1.23 | 89 | 50 |
| #4 | THE THINKER | +0.47 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | byzun | +0.28 | 77 | 65 |





