








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 298 matches | ||
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 61,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16478 | 27% |
| Smokes | 18996 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 10953 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 14975 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,518,765 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2790 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | J4ckyD | 62% | 331 |
| #8 | MZW | 62% | 491 |
| #9 | Treaux_ | 61% | 396 |
| #10 | meep | 59% | 155 |
| #11 | ✪ YungWhispers | 58% | 374 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 | ⠁⠊⠍ | 25 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | byzun | 23 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Major_Waddles | 13 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | meep | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | MZW | 9 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 | ⠁⠊⠍ | 1671 | 0.14 | 44 min |
| #2 | Treaux_ | 1108 | 0.14 | 28 min |
| #3 | J4ckyD | 1013 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #4 | byzun | 1004 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #5 | Major_Waddles | 911 | 0.07 | 20 min |





