








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 351 matches | ||
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




86 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9577 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6638 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7843 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8782 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,552,465 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 720 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Major_Waddles | 71% | 78 |
| #2 | Bunzi | 68% | 280 |
| #3 | 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 | ⠁⠊⠍ | 63% | 134 |
| #4 | THE THINKER | 63% | 117 |
| #5 | Tempest | 58% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunzi | 848 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 | ⠁⠊⠍ | 349 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | son | 329 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | THE THINKER | 305 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | OldManFuckYourPussy | 281 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunzi | +2.37 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | OldManFuckYourPussy | +2.03 | 78 | 47 |
| #3 | mime | +1.64 | 77 | 41 |
| #4 | 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 | ⠁⠊⠍ | +1.35 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | THE THINKER | +1.29 | 59 | 54 |





