








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 654 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




214 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2405 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2469 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1832 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1552 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,208 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1725 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WinnieTheJew | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | quiz | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | Frug | 46% | 141 |
| #4 | Femboy Fanatic | 44% | 115 |
| #5 | Horseradishhasbugla | 44% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frug | 57 | 0.0206 |
| #2 | Horseradishhasbugla | 47 | 0.0291 |
| #3 | Femboy Fanatic | 30 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | Spermino retardino | 16 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Estrogenware >w< | 16 | 0.0188 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horseradishhasbugla | 780 | 0.48 | 13 min |
| #2 | Frug | 772 | 0.28 | 19 min |
| #3 | Spermino retardino | 433 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #4 | Femboy Fanatic | 213 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | WinnieTheJew | 108 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frug | +3.26 | 94 | 63 |
| #2 | WinnieTheJew | +2.66 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Horseradishhasbugla | +1.81 | 90 | 49 |
| #4 | Spermino retardino | +1.40 | 98 | 67 |
| #5 | Femboy Fanatic | +0.85 | 61 | 54 |





