










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1197 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1148 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1932 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1253 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,080 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 683 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Benedikt Magnússon | 50% | 12 |
| #13 | WinnieTheJew | 49% | 51 |
| #14 | Frug | 39% | 23 |
| #15 | Freg | 38% | 40 |
| #16 | Niggalas Cage | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freg | 28 | 0.0330 |
| #2 | Femboy Fanatic | 16 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | WinnieTheJew | 16 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | Frug | 14 | 0.0304 |
| #5 | Spermino retardino | 7 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WinnieTheJew | 186 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Spermino retardino | 151 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Femboy Fanatic | 139 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Frug | 122 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | Horseradishhasbugla | 109 | 0.40 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frug | +5.77 | 96 | 69 |
| #2 | Horseradishhasbugla | +2.63 | 87 | 60 |
| #3 | Bruza | +2.55 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | Spermino retardino | +2.19 | 97 | 64 |
| #5 | HanzBimmer | +1.83 | 83 | 40 |





