








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 914 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4846 | 51% |
| Smokes | 2609 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1601 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 509 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $755,403 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Frug | 46% | 54 |
| #9 | Femboy Fanatic | 45% | 44 |
| #10 | HanzBimmer | 45% | 20 |
| #11 | Freg | 44% | 82 |
| #12 | Yuri Boi | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freg | 63 | 0.0389 |
| #2 | Frug | 16 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Thomsey | 16 | 0.0198 |
| #4 | Yuri Boi | 16 | 0.0440 |
| #5 | Femboy Fanatic | 14 | 0.0166 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freg | 329 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Frug | 244 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | Spermino retardino | 122 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | HanzBimmer | 76 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | WinnieTheJew | 68 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horseradishhasbugla | +3.56 | 89 | 55 |
| #2 | Frug | +3.23 | 94 | 67 |
| #3 | Yuri Boi | +1.96 | 82 | 45 |
| #4 | Cruz@ | +1.95 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | ICU | +1.22 | 78 | 47 |





