










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1990 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1195 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1632 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $852,824 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Niggalas Cage | 52% | 27 |
| #12 | Estrogenware >w< | 49% | 51 |
| #13 | Bruza | 45% | 20 |
| #14 | Frug | 38% | 32 |
| #15 | HanzBimmer | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freg | 25 | 0.0339 |
| #2 | Femboy Fanatic | 17 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Frug | 17 | 0.0281 |
| #4 | HanzBimmer | 14 | 0.0565 |
| #5 | Estrogenware >w< | 13 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frug | 187 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #2 | Spermino retardino | 155 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Estrogenware >w< | 154 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Freg | 148 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Femboy Fanatic | 129 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frug | +3.47 | 95 | 64 |
| #2 | Horseradishhasbugla | +3.03 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | Spermino retardino | +2.97 | 99 | 67 |
| #4 | Bruza | +2.12 | 87 | 60 |
| #5 | Niggalas Cage | +1.71 | 74 | 63 |





