










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3025 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4814 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4269 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4361 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,210,326 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sufrad | 60% | 57 |
| #2 | Stitch | 55% | 138 |
| #3 | Chike Pike | 52% | 88 |
| #4 | Baldus | 52% | 154 |
| #5 | Mr. Stabby | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Chike Pike | 52% | 88 |
| #4 | Baldus | 52% | 154 |
| #5 | Mr. Stabby | 47% | 70 |
| #6 | Trashbag Popcorn | 46% | 67 |
| #7 | dis_pc | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baldus | 20 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Stitch | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Chike Pike | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Mr. Stabby | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Sufrad | 6 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baldus | 401 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Stitch | 322 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mr. Stabby | 165 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | dis_pc | 152 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Trashbag Popcorn | 99 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stitch | +6.63 | 75 | 43 |
| #2 | Sufrad | +4.74 | 90 | 48 |
| #3 | Mr. Stabby | +0.61 | 58 | 53 |
| #4 | dis_pc | +0.58 | 53 | 68 |
| #5 | Baldus | -0.57 | 68 | 54 |





