








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1047 matches | ||
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




177 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15319 | 39% |
| Smokes | 12860 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3317 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 7508 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,002,493 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8008 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReallyAv1 | 52% | 154 |
| #2 | Revolt | 50% | 124 |
| #3 | dis_pc | 49% | 175 |
| #4 | Trashbag Popcorn | 49% | 458 |
| #5 | vita | 47% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vita | 45 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Fonzey | 39 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Chike Pike | 23 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Sphincter Rat | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Chenzo | 9 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trashbag Popcorn | 755 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #2 | dis_pc | 670 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Sphincter Rat | 457 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #4 | vita | 440 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | Chenzo | 421 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vita | +3.41 | 88 | 59 |
| #2 | Revolt | +1.73 | 64 | 44 |
| #3 | Chenzo | +1.22 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | dis_pc | +0.62 | 46 | 67 |
| #5 | Sphincter Rat | +0.40 | 68 | 48 |





