








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 448 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6338 | 22% |
| Smokes | 10724 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4163 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 8149 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,345,832 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pengu1n | 56% | 231 |
| #2 | Death | 54% | 78 |
| #3 | tekto | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | ELT & John | 49% | 181 |
| #5 | Noyou | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Noyou | 48% | 54 |
| #6 | Unemployed 9-5 | 48% | 79 |
| #7 | No Monitor Tsih | 44% | 52 |
| #8 | Curry | 41% | 49 |
| #9 | N.W.A. | 34% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pengu1n | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Death | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | ELT & John | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Unemployed 9-5 | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Noyou | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELT & John | 932 | 0.24 | 30 min |
| #2 | N.W.A. | 150 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Unemployed 9-5 | 127 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | pengu1n | 126 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Death | 122 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noyou | +3.18 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | tekto | +0.74 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | glimpse | +0.73 | 77 | 68 |
| #4 | Death | +0.43 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | pengu1n | +0.30 | 87 | 57 |





