








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 452 | 14% |
| Smokes | 994 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1183 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 665 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,168 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Curry | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | ELT & John | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Unemployed 9-5 | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Death | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | glimpse | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Death | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | glimpse | 48% | 54 |
| #6 | N.W.A. | 33% | 12 |
| #7 | pengu1n | 33% | 12 |
| #8 | No Monitor Tsih | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glimpse | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Death | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELT & John | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | glimpse | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Curry | 19 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Unemployed 9-5 | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | No Monitor Tsih | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noyou | +1.11 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | No Monitor Tsih | +0.16 | 44 | 52 |
| #3 | glimpse | +0.08 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | Death | +0.00 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | pengu1n | -0.37 | 84 | 49 |





