








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5552 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6536 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7596 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6504 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,900,332 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 634 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | No Monitor Tsih | 49% | 243 |
| #4 | glimpse | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | ELT & John | 48% | 166 |
| #6 | pengu1n | 43% | 146 |
| #7 | N.W.A. | 42% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Monitor Tsih | 20 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | pengu1n | 16 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | ELT & John | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | N.W.A. | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Curry | 4 | 0.0018 |





