








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 729 | 30% |
| Smokes | 726 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 206 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 733 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,701 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mara | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | ................ | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | N A P A L M | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Chike Pike | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | Deathlight Twinkle | 60% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Deathlight Twinkle | 60% | 45 |
| #6 | olly | 56% | 106 |
| #7 | Shart | 52% | 79 |
| #8 | soop | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | ✦whoda✦ | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olly | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | ................ | 3 | 0.0184 |
| #3 | N A P A L M | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | ✦whoda✦ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Chike Pike | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olly | 351 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | Shart | 252 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Deathlight Twinkle | 95 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✦whoda✦ | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chike Pike | 53 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N A P A L M | +4.53 | 73 | 42 |
| #2 | ✦whoda✦ | +4.22 | 92 | 63 |
| #3 | olly | +2.53 | 86 | 49 |
| #4 | ................ | +1.33 | 86 | 31 |
| #5 | Monkey Business | +0.82 | 61 | 45 |





