








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2051 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1734 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 266 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 860 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,503 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chike Pike | 63% | 63 |
| #2 | ✦whoda✦ | 62% | 120 |
| #3 | Deathlight Twinkle | 59% | 106 |
| #4 | olly | 55% | 240 |
| #5 | Monkey Business | 52% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chike Pike | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | olly | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ✦whoda✦ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Deathlight Twinkle | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Monkey Business | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olly | 687 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | ✦whoda✦ | 283 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Deathlight Twinkle | 232 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Monkey Business | 176 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Chike Pike | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✦whoda✦ | +4.74 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | olly | +2.88 | 87 | 51 |
| #3 | Monkey Business | +1.14 | 60 | 46 |
| #4 | Shart | +0.35 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | Chike Pike | +0.01 | 54 | 44 |





