








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3519 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4510 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2664 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3388 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,502,337 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olly | 61% | 142 |
| #2 | Monkey Business | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | Shart | 59% | 106 |
| #4 | ✦whoda✦ | 56% | 338 |
| #5 | Chike Pike | 54% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✦whoda✦ | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Chike Pike | 14 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Barbecue | 13 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | soop | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | olly | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✦whoda✦ | 718 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | olly | 398 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Shart | 295 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | soop | 237 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Chike Pike | 131 | 0.10 | 3 min |





