








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4592 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5894 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1618 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3400 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,090,244 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Deathlight Twinkle | 56% | 338 |
| #5 | Chike Pike | 53% | 124 |
| #6 | Barbecue | 50% | 80 |
| #7 | soop | 49% | 65 |
| #8 | Monkey Business | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathlight Twinkle | 785 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | olly | 420 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | Shart | 334 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Chike Pike | 181 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | soop | 159 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✦whoda✦ | +6.01 | 92 | 62 |
| #2 | olly | +2.04 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | Chike Pike | +0.79 | 56 | 47 |
| #4 | Shart | -0.26 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | Monkey Business | -0.36 | 46 | 51 |





