








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 790 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1001 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 610 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 997 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,088 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prize | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Monke | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | PäronJuice | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | Mr.Wong | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | awppenhe1mer | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PäronJuice | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | Mr.Wong | 45% | 110 |
| #5 | awppenhe1mer | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | slizzo | 40% | 55 |
| #7 | Puss in Boots | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Wong | 15 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | PäronJuice | 15 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | slizzo | 14 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | Monke | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Puss in Boots | 4 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monke | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | PäronJuice | 79 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mr.Wong | 69 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | awppenhe1mer | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Prize | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monke | +3.19 | 57 | 47 |
| #2 | Prize | +1.44 | 33 | 42 |
| #3 | Mr.Wong | -0.96 | 22 | 29 |
| #4 | Puss in Boots | -1.26 | 20 | 18 |
| #5 | Saor Alba | -2.23 | 47 | 48 |





