








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1002 | 22% |
| Smokes | 151 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 2518 | 54% |
| Molotovs | 950 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $227,746 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Wong | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Monke | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | Saor Alba | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | Puss in Boots | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Wong | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Monke | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | Saor Alba | 44% | 25 |
| #4 | Puss in Boots | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monke | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Puss in Boots | 4 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | Mr.Wong | 3 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saor Alba | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Monke | 17 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Puss in Boots | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Mr.Wong | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monke | +3.79 | 61 | 51 |
| #2 | Puss in Boots | -0.70 | 13 | 7 |
| #3 | awppenhe1mer | -1.00 | 14 | 41 |
| #4 | Mr.Wong | -1.26 | 16 | 25 |
| #5 | Saor Alba | -2.97 | 45 | 55 |





