








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 426 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 761 | 29% |
| Smokes | 496 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 987 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 426 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $963,199 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1490 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsJustAlexSorry | 45% | 33 |
| #2 | Saor Alba | 40% | 55 |
| #3 | Monke | 39% | 97 |
| #4 | Puss in Boots | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | PäronJuice | 39% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Monke | 39% | 97 |
| #4 | Puss in Boots | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | PäronJuice | 39% | 150 |
| #6 | DAbigMOUSEman | 38% | 39 |
| #7 | Mr.Wong | 35% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Wong | 62 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | PäronJuice | 55 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | Monke | 16 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | DAbigMOUSEman | 9 | 0.0121 |
| #5 | Puss in Boots | 9 | 0.0155 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PäronJuice | 248 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mr.Wong | 91 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #3 | Monke | 89 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Saor Alba | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Puss in Boots | 21 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monke | +3.71 | 52 | 41 |
| #2 | ItsJustAlexSorry | +3.10 | 78 | 16 |
| #3 | Puss in Boots | +0.91 | 18 | 10 |
| #4 | Mr.Wong | +0.70 | 26 | 29 |
| #5 | Saor Alba | -1.37 | 38 | 47 |





