








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 165 | 37% |
| Smokes | 88 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 86 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 113 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,718 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PäronJuice | 43% | 14 |
| #2 | Monke | 40% | 57 |
| #3 | slizzo | 39% | 31 |
| #4 | Mr.Wong | 35% | 17 |
| #5 | Saor Alba | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monke | 11 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | PäronJuice | 10 | 0.0337 |
| #3 | slizzo | 7 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Mr.Wong | 6 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | awppenhe1mer | 5 | 0.0188 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monke | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | PäronJuice | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | awppenhe1mer | 27 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Saor Alba | 19 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mr.Wong | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monke | +3.17 | 56 | 47 |
| #2 | Puss in Boots | -0.25 | 17 | 12 |
| #3 | Mr.Wong | -1.27 | 26 | 28 |
| #4 | awppenhe1mer | -1.86 | 20 | 45 |
| #5 | PäronJuice | -1.90 | 16 | 27 |





