








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 513 | 18% |
| Smokes | 565 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 788 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1037 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,375 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eye like p-ness | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Faultier 361 | 49% | 136 |
| #3 | PLK | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | Racoon | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | Mister Thicc | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PLK | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | Racoon | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | Mister Thicc | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | 39% | 51 |
| #7 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | eye like p-ness | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Faultier 361 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Mister Thicc | 3 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | 255 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #2 | eye like p-ness | 170 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mister Thicc | 125 | 0.40 | 3 min |
| #4 | Faultier 361 | 111 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 90 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eye like p-ness | +5.38 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | +4.30 | 85 | 74 |
| #3 | Mister Thicc | +2.85 | 85 | 58 |
| #4 | Faultier 361 | +0.24 | 76 | 30 |
| #5 | osuun | -1.22 | 61 | 24 |





