








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1110 | 47% |
| Smokes | 123 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 551 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 555 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,901 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | osuun | 44% | 41 |
| #3 | Faultier 361 | 35% | 60 |
| #4 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | PLK | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Faultier 361 | 35% | 60 |
| #4 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | PLK | 23% | 22 |
| #6 | eye like p-ness | 22% | 9 |
| #7 | TAD'victim | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | osuun | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Faultier 361 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faultier 361 | 79 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | 78 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | eye like p-ness | 48 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #4 | osuun | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | π₯KΓΆttelπ₯ | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penguin πππππ§‘β€ | +6.01 | 79 | 80 |
| #2 | eye like p-ness | +2.73 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | osuun | +0.42 | 62 | 27 |
| #4 | TAD'victim | +0.25 | 19 | 58 |
| #5 | Faultier 361 | -0.13 | 70 | 34 |





