








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




102 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6860 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4369 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6643 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4926 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,948,526 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xx$W@G_M3SS1AHxX | 51% | 717 |
| #2 | Gamer God | 50% | 189 |
| #3 | MarcyJellyBean | 48% | 167 |
| #4 | AWEM᠌ INUS | 45% | 159 |
| #5 | Graph1c | 42% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gamer God | 50% | 189 |
| #3 | MarcyJellyBean | 48% | 167 |
| #4 | AWEM᠌ INUS | 45% | 159 |
| #5 | Graph1c | 42% | 113 |
| #6 | SapphicSappho | 41% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xx$W@G_M3SS1AHxX | 162 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | AWEM᠌ INUS | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | MarcyJellyBean | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Gamer God | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | SapphicSappho | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xx$W@G_M3SS1AHxX | 1544 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #2 | AWEM᠌ INUS | 476 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Graph1c | 315 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Gamer God | 96 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | MarcyJellyBean | 57 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xx$W@G_M3SS1AHxX | +2.47 | 58 | 56 |
| #2 | Yewcio | +2.10 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | Graph1c | +1.62 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | AWEM᠌ INUS | +0.52 | 77 | 57 |
| #5 | Gamer God | -2.77 | 36 | 39 |





