








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3534 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4410 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2230 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2323 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,994 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deca trt dose | 56% | 84 |
| #2 | <xanax bands 4 l1fe x9> | 51% | 262 |
| #3 | The Substance | 49% | 132 |
| #4 | Marcy | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Graph1c | 48% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | <xanax bands 4 l1fe x9> | 51% | 262 |
| #3 | The Substance | 49% | 132 |
| #4 | Marcy | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | Graph1c | 48% | 159 |
| #6 | Fat Dumb Loser | 45% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <xanax bands 4 l1fe x9> | 29 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Fat Dumb Loser | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | The Substance | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Graph1c | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | deca trt dose | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <xanax bands 4 l1fe x9> | 534 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Graph1c | 347 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Fat Dumb Loser | 302 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | The Substance | 286 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | deca trt dose | 153 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Substance | +4.00 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | deca trt dose | +1.27 | 46 | 50 |
| #3 | <xanax bands 4 l1fe x9> | +0.40 | 44 | 48 |
| #4 | Fat Dumb Loser | +0.19 | 57 | 56 |
| #5 | Typeshit Lannister | -0.08 | 71 | 52 |





