








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 339 | 16% |
| Smokes | 145 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 937 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 669 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,548 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWEM᠌ INUS | 49% | 53 |
| #2 | Yewcio | 48% | 167 |
| #3 | Xx$W@G_M3SS1AHxX | 46% | 221 |
| #4 | Seal | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Berryy | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Seal | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Berryy | 43% | 21 |
| #6 | Graph1c | 40% | 72 |
| #7 | SapphicSappho | 25% | 53 |
| #8 | Gamer God | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xx$W@G_M3SS1AHxX | 46 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Yewcio | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Graph1c | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | AWEM᠌ INUS | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Berryy | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xx$W@G_M3SS1AHxX | 447 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Yewcio | 376 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Graph1c | 187 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | AWEM᠌ INUS | 178 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Berryy | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xx$W@G_M3SS1AHxX | +3.99 | 54 | 57 |
| #2 | Yewcio | +3.42 | 66 | 55 |
| #3 | Graph1c | +3.13 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | AWEM᠌ INUS | +2.04 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | Berryy | +0.49 | 73 | 24 |





