








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1430 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1126 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 731 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 916 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,211 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr0ssed | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | chunter | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Kenny | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | e1ch | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Z2 | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kenny | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | e1ch | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | Z2 | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | tastefulracist_01 | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | lmt tstr | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tastefulracist_01 | 1 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Cr0ssed | 1 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | e1ch | 1 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e1ch | 21 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | Z2 | 19 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Kenny | 19 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | lmt tstr | 19 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | chunter | 16 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chunter | +4.56 | 93 | 53 |
| #2 | Cr0ssed | +4.31 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | Z2 | +3.90 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | Kenny | +3.62 | 66 | 51 |
| #5 | tastefulracist_01 | +2.39 | 58 | 48 |





