








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 912 | 27% |
| Smokes | 933 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 891 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 595 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,182 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TheJFKExperience | 50% | 44 |
| #5 | Kenny | 50% | 48 |
| #6 | renegadeBEAR | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | HeartofAnubis | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | JOHN WITHERSPOON | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny | 8 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | TheJFKExperience | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | HeartofAnubis | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheJFKExperience | +4.07 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | Cr0ssed | +2.14 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | JOHN WITHERSPOON | +0.92 | 83 | 45 |
| #4 | Non-binary Galois LFSR | +0.81 | 77 | 46 |
| #5 | Kenny | -0.91 | 55 | 40 |





