








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 297 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3405 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2781 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2444 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1434 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,085,575 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pretend | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Brensylvania | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | REGGIE | 63% | 49 |
| #4 | BrOkY Jr. | 60% | 45 |
| #5 | Pharaoh | 47% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pretend | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Brensylvania | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | REGGIE | 63% | 49 |
| #4 | BrOkY Jr. | 60% | 45 |
| #5 | Pharaoh | 47% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pharaoh | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | REGGIE | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | BrOkY Jr. | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REGGIE | 234 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | Pharaoh | 217 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | pretend | 89 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | BrOkY Jr. | 83 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Brensylvania | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REGGIE | +2.90 | 72 | 75 |
| #2 | Brensylvania | +0.87 | 63 | 52 |
| #3 | kr0nii | +0.76 | 80 | 54 |
| #4 | pretend | +0.64 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | Pharaoh | -0.06 | 62 | 63 |





