








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 736 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4383 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5928 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2507 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3918 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,147 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 486 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psychorunt | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | pretend | 69% | 42 |
| #3 | Pharaoh | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Капитан Ксарнекс | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | BrOkY Jr. | 67% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pretend | 115 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | BrOkY Jr. | 102 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | kr0nii | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Yatti | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pharaoh | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REGGIE | +4.03 | 80 | 74 |
| #2 | pretend | +1.53 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | Pharaoh | +0.50 | 61 | 75 |
| #4 | kr0nii | -0.10 | 81 | 56 |
| #5 | zoomboi24 | -0.41 | 39 | 48 |





