








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 208 matches | ||
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3876 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4344 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4353 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4344 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,752,131 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egg man | 73% | 44 |
| #2 | DiscAttano | 70% | 54 |
| #3 | Mr.T | 67% | 39 |
| #4 | VlePaA | 66% | 44 |
| #5 | bryan | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DiscAttano | 70% | 54 |
| #3 | Mr.T | 67% | 39 |
| #4 | VlePaA | 66% | 44 |
| #5 | bryan | 61% | 28 |
| #6 | kr0nii | 47% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DiscAttano | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | VlePaA | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | kr0nii | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | egg man | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Mr.T | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DiscAttano | 272 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | VlePaA | 263 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #3 | kr0nii | 222 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | egg man | 127 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | bryan | 94 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.T | +4.95 | 97 | 61 |
| #2 | VlePaA | +4.43 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | DiscAttano | +1.25 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | Pharaoh | +0.85 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | kr0nii | +0.55 | 85 | 61 |





