








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 698 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 429 matches | ||
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5247 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6996 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6605 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5600 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,720,688 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nevermind | 63% | 101 |
| #2 | dasd- | 59% | 37 |
| #3 | Jub #ClashGG | 57% | 136 |
| #4 | .d0mi | 56% | 116 |
| #5 | SexyhAs | 55% | 335 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | .d0mi | 56% | 116 |
| #5 | SexyhAs | 55% | 335 |
| #6 | yung lemaus | 55% | 440 |
| #7 | apathy die kleine kahi | 53% | 78 |
| #8 | Jesuis Y. | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung lemaus | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Jub #ClashGG | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | dasd- | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung lemaus | 1789 | 0.18 | 45 min |
| #2 | SexyhAs | 1056 | 0.14 | 27 min |
| #3 | .d0mi | 697 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #4 | Nevermind | 521 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #5 | Jub #ClashGG | 448 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +2.55 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | .d0mi | +1.14 | 88 | 74 |
| #3 | dasd- | +0.27 | 89 | 66 |
| #4 | REDCOCKBABY | +0.17 | 85 | 55 |
| #5 | yung lemaus | -0.39 | 72 | 65 |





