








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 734 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 538 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10223 | 37% |
| Smokes | 6235 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5675 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5610 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,559,848 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 411 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 64% | 53 |
| #2 | dasd- | 64% | 72 |
| #3 | Nevermind | 64% | 162 |
| #4 | Tagami | 62% | 50 |
| #5 | SexyhAs | 59% | 520 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jesuis Y. | 58% | 36 |
| #7 | yung lemaus | 58% | 351 |
| #8 | REDCOCKBABY | 56% | 116 |
| #9 | Jub #ClashGG | 55% | 33 |
| #10 | .xQ* | 53% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung lemaus | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | REDCOCKBABY | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | dasd- | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | 1493 | 0.13 | 37 min |
| #2 | yung lemaus | 1410 | 0.18 | 37 min |
| #3 | Nevermind | 800 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #4 | REDCOCKBABY | 204 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tagami | 196 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +1.87 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | .d0mi | +1.12 | 87 | 72 |
| #3 | Tagami | +0.53 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | dasd- | +0.50 | 83 | 72 |
| #5 | .xQ* | -0.85 | 79 | 72 |





