








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 185 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1456 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1630 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1535 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1686 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,794 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesuis Y. | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | .d0mi | 64% | 53 |
| #3 | Nevermind | 61% | 44 |
| #4 | Norbert | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | SexyhAs | 57% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Norbert | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | SexyhAs | 57% | 141 |
| #6 | yung lemaus | 54% | 168 |
| #7 | REDCOCKBABY | 53% | 78 |
| #8 | Jub #ClashGG | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REDCOCKBABY | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung lemaus | 706 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | SexyhAs | 491 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | .d0mi | 313 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #4 | Nevermind | 235 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jub #ClashGG | 137 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +2.93 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | .d0mi | +1.25 | 83 | 74 |
| #3 | Norbert | +0.31 | 74 | 75 |
| #4 | Nevermind | -0.05 | 72 | 76 |
| #5 | Jesuis Y. | -0.26 | 56 | 61 |





