








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 362 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4630 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6220 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4439 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5301 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,230,328 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .EXE | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | yung lemaus | 60% | 413 |
| #3 | Nevermind | 60% | 72 |
| #4 | SexyhAs | 59% | 222 |
| #5 | trabbey | 58% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | REDCOCKBABY | 57% | 136 |
| #7 | Jesuis Y. | 56% | 25 |
| #8 | .d0mi | 55% | 33 |
| #9 | famel | 44% | 34 |
| #10 | apathy die kleine kahi | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REDCOCKBABY | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | yung lemaus | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | .EXE | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | famel | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung lemaus | 1600 | 0.18 | 38 min |
| #2 | SexyhAs | 672 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | Nevermind | 421 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #4 | REDCOCKBABY | 269 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | .EXE | 259 | 0.39 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +3.15 | 89 | 71 |
| #2 | .d0mi | +2.42 | 85 | 72 |
| #3 | yung lemaus | +0.73 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | REDCOCKBABY | +0.63 | 85 | 55 |
| #5 | Nevermind | +0.49 | 72 | 76 |





