








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3354 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4380 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3378 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3203 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,302 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinkkupitsa | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | Jamal | 58% | 66 |
| #3 | Taikaneekeri | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Jarskiboi | 56% | 117 |
| #5 | Spin To Win | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Spin To Win | 55% | 38 |
| #6 | Jukka | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | pepsiman | 47% | 95 |
| #8 | ScaleCrow | 45% | 22 |
| #9 | mummonmopo | 40% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarskiboi | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Jamal | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | mummonmopo | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Kinkkupitsa | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Jukka | 6 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarskiboi | 212 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kinkkupitsa | 94 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | mummonmopo | 73 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jamal | 66 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Taikaneekeri | 63 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pepsiman | +3.78 | 64 | 30 |
| #2 | Jamal | +2.92 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | Taikaneekeri | +2.53 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | Kinkkupitsa | +2.02 | 72 | 50 |
| #5 | Jukka | +1.17 | 52 | 54 |





