








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 693 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3391 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5586 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 4046 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2524 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,881,376 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2732 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Late | 56% | 117 |
| #2 | Kinkkupitsa | 53% | 448 |
| #3 | Spin To Win | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | Jamal | 51% | 314 |
| #5 | Glistus | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Glistus | 49% | 53 |
| #6 | Björn Wahlroos | 48% | 75 |
| #7 | Taikaneekeri | 47% | 186 |
| #8 | Arsi | 45% | 130 |
| #9 | MinttiDöbö | 44% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinkkupitsa | 20 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Jamal | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Taikaneekeri | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Spin To Win | 9 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Late | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinkkupitsa | 1118 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #2 | Taikaneekeri | 428 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | Jamal | 328 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | Arsi | 314 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Late | 282 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinkkupitsa | +1.84 | 64 | 51 |
| #2 | Jamal | +1.18 | 65 | 50 |
| #3 | Taikaneekeri | +1.13 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | MinttiDöbö | +0.33 | 67 | 51 |
| #5 | Björn Wahlroos | -0.44 | 61 | 51 |





