










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 56 | 9% |
| Smokes | 70 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 363 | 60% |
| Molotovs | 119 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,511 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | lil'caesars | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | rizure | 46% | 123 |
| #7 | coquettepopcorn♡𓍯𓂃 | 45% | 60 |
| #8 | MaestroEbrut | 45% | 47 |
| #9 | reesm | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CieL | 23 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | MaestroEbrut | 21 | 0.0232 |
| #3 | coquettepopcorn♡𓍯𓂃 | 20 | 0.0177 |
| #4 | lil'caesars | 14 | 0.0182 |
| #5 | rizure | 11 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rizure | 357 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | CieL | 127 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | reesm | 120 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | MaestroEbrut | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | lil'caesars | 76 | 0.10 | 1 min |





