








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 902 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1188 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 4910 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 3740 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,953,233 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 590 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 67% | 72 |
| #2 | Jojj | 52% | 60 |
| #3 | ImRaccoonISwear | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Kiyosuka | 48% | 438 |
| #5 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 47% | 340 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ImRaccoonISwear | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Kiyosuka | 48% | 438 |
| #5 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 47% | 340 |
| #6 | Seksikashokis | 45% | 60 |
| #7 | kalakauppias | 44% | 338 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiyosuka | 74 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | kalakauppias | 33 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 32 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Seksikashokis | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiyosuka | 1051 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #2 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 794 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | kalakauppias | 647 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #4 | Jojj | 192 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Seksikashokis | 169 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jojj | +5.22 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | +4.07 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | Kiyosuka | +2.92 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | kalakauppias | +0.82 | 64 | 49 |
| #5 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | -0.85 | 34 | 58 |





