








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2777 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1026 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 376 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




153 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8198 | 21% |
| Smokes | 9791 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 12697 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 9177 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,432,437 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiyosuka | 50% | 1063 |
| #2 | JannaMaria♡ | 44% | 338 |
| #3 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiyosuka | 50% | 1063 |
| #2 | JannaMaria♡ | 44% | 338 |
| #3 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiyosuka | 226 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 12 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | JannaMaria♡ | 9 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiyosuka | 3071 | 0.14 | 92 min |
| #2 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 206 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | JannaMaria♡ | 25 | 0.00 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiyosuka | +2.11 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | kalakauppias | +0.51 | 66 | 53 |
| #3 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | -1.13 | 35 | 56 |
| #4 | JannaMaria♡ | -2.15 | 39 | 29 |





