








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1218 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 178 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




348 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
20332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19217 | 37% |
| Smokes | 8847 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 14940 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8837 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,543,236 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7882 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 67% | 123 |
| #2 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 52% | 191 |
| #3 | kalakauppias | 50% | 1063 |
| #4 | JannaMaria♡ | 48% | 438 |
| #5 | Äitis | 44% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 67% | 123 |
| #2 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 52% | 191 |
| #3 | kalakauppias | 50% | 1063 |
| #4 | JannaMaria♡ | 48% | 438 |
| #5 | Äitis | 44% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalakauppias | 118 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | JannaMaria♡ | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Äitis | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalakauppias | 2050 | 0.09 | 58 min |
| #2 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | 474 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 203 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Äitis | 135 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | JannaMaria♡ | 15 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | +3.55 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | Kiyosuka | +2.24 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | kalakauppias | -0.07 | 64 | 53 |
| #4 | A F*ing NINJA, MAN!! | -1.77 | 29 | 59 |
| #5 | JannaMaria♡ | -2.72 | 38 | 25 |





