








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1052 | 28% |
| Smokes | 988 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1144 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 522 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,187,413 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 719 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kx | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | Femboy Will | 51% | 166 |
| #3 | Big Hot Man #3 | 50% | 90 |
| #4 | pgxy | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 47% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 47% | 165 |
| #6 | CopperChickenFilerWithFriedAss | 44% | 36 |
| #7 | notAustin | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | retard | 40% | 114 |
| #9 | Tung Tung Tung Sahur | 27% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Will | 52 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 27 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | retard | 22 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Big Hot Man #3 | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | CopperChickenFilerWithFriedAss | 10 | 0.0143 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Hot Man #3 | 297 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Femboy Will | 263 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 236 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | retard | 190 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | pgxy | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kx | +6.73 | 89 | 32 |
| #2 | Femboy Will | +3.58 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | notAustin | +2.24 | 48 | 54 |
| #4 | Big Hot Man #3 | +0.95 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | pgxy | +0.47 | 71 | 48 |





