








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 986 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4933 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5082 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4438 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4412 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $836,707 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 665 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kx | 71% | 68 |
| #2 | notAustin | 63% | 88 |
| #3 | Femboy Will | 56% | 176 |
| #4 | retard | 51% | 177 |
| #5 | pgxy | 51% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | retard | 51% | 177 |
| #5 | pgxy | 51% | 163 |
| #6 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 50% | 209 |
| #7 | MustardGas | 50% | 90 |
| #8 | CopperChickenFilerWithFriedAss | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Will | 46 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | MustardGas | 36 | 0.0212 |
| #3 | retard | 26 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 21 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | kx | 12 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pgxy | 487 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | retard | 349 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Femboy Will | 296 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 290 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | notAustin | 168 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kx | +4.91 | 86 | 36 |
| #2 | Femboy Will | +2.96 | 71 | 50 |
| #3 | notAustin | +2.87 | 56 | 55 |
| #4 | Big Hot Man #3 | +0.60 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | pgxy | +0.38 | 73 | 52 |





