








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1966 | 25% |
| Smokes | 680 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2750 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2422 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,048,908 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 486 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kx | 62% | 110 |
| #2 | Big Hot Man #3 | 51% | 177 |
| #3 | Femboy Will | 51% | 252 |
| #4 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 47% | 298 |
| #5 | pgxy | 43% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Femboy Will | 51% | 252 |
| #4 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 47% | 298 |
| #5 | pgxy | 43% | 86 |
| #6 | MustardGas | 40% | 114 |
| #7 | CopperChickenFilerWithFriedAss | 33% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Will | 98 | 0.0204 |
| #2 | MustardGas | 82 | 0.0378 |
| #3 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 45 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Big Hot Man #3 | 19 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | kx | 16 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Hot Man #3 | 631 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | Femboy Will | 459 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Ace_M+9 Kick | 441 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | pgxy | 290 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | MustardGas | 221 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kx | +6.08 | 90 | 37 |
| #2 | Femboy Will | +3.40 | 73 | 49 |
| #3 | Big Hot Man #3 | +1.29 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | pgxy | +0.39 | 77 | 48 |
| #5 | Ace_M+9 Kick | -0.34 | 60 | 46 |





