








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 957 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Wingman | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3796 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5477 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3888 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4896 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,251,650 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kx | 60% | 137 |
| #2 | notAustin | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Femboy Will | 55% | 335 |
| #4 | Big Hot Man #3 | 50% | 209 |
| #5 | MustardGas | 47% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MustardGas | 47% | 165 |
| #6 | retard | 47% | 298 |
| #7 | pgxy | 46% | 153 |
| #8 | CopperChickenFilerWithFriedAss | 44% | 55 |
| #9 | Kaede | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Will | 112 | 0.0175 |
| #2 | MustardGas | 75 | 0.0241 |
| #3 | retard | 54 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | kx | 15 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | CopperChickenFilerWithFriedAss | 13 | 0.0121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Hot Man #3 | 709 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | Femboy Will | 611 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | retard | 507 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | pgxy | 395 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | MustardGas | 325 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kx | +5.92 | 92 | 39 |
| #2 | Femboy Will | +3.38 | 73 | 50 |
| #3 | notAustin | +1.61 | 48 | 50 |
| #4 | Big Hot Man #3 | +1.11 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | Kaede | +0.93 | 76 | 44 |





