








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 862 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 424 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4827 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5353 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5332 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5140 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,750,253 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 551 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yakub | 71% | 41 |
| #2 | jackson4th | 61% | 66 |
| #3 | BAGELS- | 59% | 95 |
| #4 | DRAINERMONKEY5000 | 55% | 135 |
| #5 | Firestar | 53% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | tarquin | 49% | 41 |
| #7 | ClutchLlama | 48% | 75 |
| #8 | kabLe | 45% | 29 |
| #9 | FanaticDuck | 43% | 44 |
| #10 | Gone | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRAINERMONKEY5000 | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Firestar | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | BAGELS- | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | FanaticDuck | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRAINERMONKEY5000 | 453 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Firestar | 447 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | BAGELS- | 442 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #4 | ClutchLlama | 418 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #5 | jackson4th | 295 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAGELS- | +2.21 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | Yakub | +1.89 | 87 | 47 |
| #3 | Firestar | +0.96 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | Gone | +0.81 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | Koh:) | +0.73 | 77 | 64 |





