








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 183 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1119 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1102 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1206 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 358 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $993,188 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kamilocek126 | 52% | 104 |
| #2 | GIlioner :3 | 51% | 130 |
| #3 | foxiasty | 48% | 110 |
| #4 | johnnycarlson | 47% | 202 |
| #5 | El nino prime | 45% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | foxiasty | 48% | 110 |
| #4 | johnnycarlson | 47% | 202 |
| #5 | El nino prime | 45% | 130 |
| #6 | Big shaq | 42% | 150 |
| #7 | Morased | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El nino prime | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | johnnycarlson | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | GIlioner :3 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Kamilocek126 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Big shaq | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnnycarlson | 903 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | GIlioner :3 | 632 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | Big shaq | 406 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | El nino prime | 333 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | foxiasty | 241 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foxiasty | +2.84 | 76 | 45 |
| #2 | johnnycarlson | +1.78 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | GIlioner :3 | +1.67 | 66 | 45 |
| #4 | El nino prime | +0.88 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | Kamilocek126 | -1.25 | 60 | 50 |





